It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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