I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
