I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
