how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
