you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
