I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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