I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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