Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
