Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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