can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
