I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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