I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
