you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
