Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
