he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
