I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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