I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
