doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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