Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
