The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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