I'm going to jail i love you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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