wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We left an ass print on the piano.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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