I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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