why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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