this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
