I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Randomize
