Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize