I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
