He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
