I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
