Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
