Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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