Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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