HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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