Only a mothe r could love this liver
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
