I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
