So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize