I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
