never play flip cup with pint glasses
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
