you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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