Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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