my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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