weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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