I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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