Me. At least after what I've been through.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
