why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize