ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
