When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
please come you make the beer taste better
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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