i just google imaged poop.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
