If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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