you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
