Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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