Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am midnight drunk by noon
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
