Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
my poor anus
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
