I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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