I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
