It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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