I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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