Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
