I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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