Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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