3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
