Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
